What’s up with the Harry Potter film reviews?

Or in other words, are you people being paid to say this was a good movie?

Ok, so I’ll admit that I’ve been looking forward to the release of the next Harry Potter installment.  I even dragged J off to see it on its release day, knowing that I was going to have to see it again after I’m back with the kiddos (they are off on a European vacation visiting family, little devils).

I’ve read all the books and should qualify here that I ONLY read the last three because of the strength of the characterization involved.  I mean, I did care about Harry, etc. and that’s why I was willing to stick with the books.  Good Lord, how many times/ways can you trot out the same damn plot?  But since I cared about the people, I stuck with them.  Not thrilled, but still curious about what would happen.  I knew Harry would win–that’s the nature of the mythic hero–but I really hoped for some unrealistic ending like having his parents come back from some kind of non-dead zone (and all the other good people killed by Voldemort).  

BUT I’ve loved the movies so far.  It’s like the directors have taken the most interesting, most exciting parts of the books, boiled them down and captured them in a concise, thrilling kind of way.  So I was really psyched about seeing this movie. 

UGH.  I was so BORED.  How much teen angst should I have to endure?  I get it–these kids are growing up, thinking about sex–or at least kissing–but COME on?  I had to wade through 1 1/2 hours of angst to get to the only exciting action.  And while the imagery of these final scenes was fantastic, it didn’t make up for the pain of the rest of this film.  I gave it a 1 1/2 out of 5 as I walked out of the theater.  I’d have left early if J had showed any sign of restlessness.  He was a trooper, though, so we stayed.  

Imagine my surprise when I keep seeing reviews giving this film “A-” or “5 Stars.”  Come on–you people must be taking some serious kick-backs.  

No doubt I care about Harry, Jenny, Ron, and Hermoine as much as the next reader.  I want these folks to triumph over evil.  But do I really need to see them making asses out of themselves for love?  Get a grip–in the real world,  someone as smart and beautiful as Hermoine wouldn’t give Ron a second glance.  He’s insanely self-absorbed, and she can do so much better.  Hell, she’s better off alone and smart enough to know it! 

Save your money–unless you’ve got a teen, angst-ridden child whom you MUST take to this film.  See it on video when it’s released.  It’s a stop-gap film to get you from the last one, which was exciting, to the next one, which we’ll all pray will be up to the snuff of the early films.

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