Thinking about 2014

4th of July fireworks

4th of July fireworks

I read Leo Babauta’s post on Zen Habits yesterday.  It’s about his successes and failures in 2014.  Of course it got me thinking about what kind of year I’ve had.  It’s that time, I guess.  I’ve seen a bit of this already starting around on the blog o’sphere.   People taking stock.

My problem is that I don’t think I had a single “success” all year.  There’s nothing I can point to and say, “yes, that makes me proud.”  I think that’s one reason I’ve felt so burned out.  The distance between my desires and expectations and the actual output has been enormous.  This is weighing heavily on me because, let’s face it, I’m middle aged.

I like to pretend that it’s not true–that 45 is the new 25–but such is not the case.  I’ve got a grown kid and my baby is in high school.  Midnight feels LATE.  I look in the mirror and wonder who that is looking back at me.  Sigh.

So I figure I’ll write 2014 off as a holding year.

And lay out some specific goals for 2015 so that when I get to this time next year, and another year closer to 50, I’ll be able to point to two or three things that I’m proud of accomplishing.

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